Human milk: set for success.

There’s no denying that I’m a big fat crunchy hippie. I can’t hide it, and I know it must influence my parenting philosophy a fair bit. Breastfeeding ties into that. I mean, why would I give up all these joyous things like sashimi, grog, deli meat, mouldy cheese, soft serve, leftovers and more than a cup of coffee a day while pregnant only then to feed my baby some highly processed chemical laden crap when it finally came out? Granted, none of those foods are healthy, but at the time I believed fish and cheese were healthful.  I wasn’t following a whole-food plant-based diet during any of my pregnancies and I ate a fucktonne of cake, especially with the first, and a block of chocolate a day with the last, so looking back it’s actually kind of hilarious how I didn’t die my hair or use spray deodorant (Okay okay, I’ve never used deodorant anyway. Let’s be real) because of the chemicals. But I tried, in my own limited way, to be healthy and give my babies the best start in life.

To aid that goal, I had fully unmedicated births. Oh but you probably had quick easy births. Uh, no. My first baby was a 30 hour labour with a post-partum hemorrhage.  Oh, you’re so brave. No, again just no. I’m not brave, I’m just more afraid of getting a needle in my goddamn spine and the side effects that has on my baby than I am of pain. That’s a blog for a different day though.

In Human Milk: The Basics I spoke about planning for success. For me an unmedicated birth was part of that plan. After an unmedicated labour babies tend to be more alert and statistically at least babies born vaginally are more likely to breastfeed than those who are born via caesarean section. Whilst I am aware that luck and genetics play a role in birth outcomes, so too does preparation and education. Again, don’t take this blog personally. If you had a caesarean I’m not saying you didn’t plan, didn’t research, didn’t try or that you’re a shit mother. I’m not and never would say these things. I don’t know you. I don’t know your story. Every woman, every baby, every vagina is different. All I’m saying is “this is what the research says” and “this is what I aimed to achieve” don’t read further into it than that.

There are other ways to prepare for success too. First and foremost: talk to your support people! Talk about the huge benefits of breastfeeding for your baby, and how it can reduce your own chances of getting certain cancers. Discuss ways your co-parent can support you; from things you might need to hear on a sad day to practical things like “If you see me with a boob out, offer me a drink!”

Educate yourself and your partner about what can go wrong, the warning signs and what to do if something happens. For example, if you have a blocked duct you’ll want a hot shower or warm compress and a good massage to clear the blockage (and to feed the baby on that side first when they are hungriest), or if you and the baby get thrush you’ll want to be able to recognise that by the white spots (or coating) on the baby’s tongue and to get some drops from the chemist. Knowing what to look for and what to do if things aren’t going to plan really helps when your brain is addled by too many hormones and not enough sleep.

Learn how to increase or safely decrease your supply and how to take care of your breasts. Set aside a chunk of money for a couple of high-quality maternity bras and buy a good pump. Gods, how I wished I took that advice myself with my first baby! I didn’t understand that not all pumps are created equal, so I got a Tommie Tippie piece of shit pump for just under $100 (which I thought was terribly expensive – it’s not.) It would suck the milk down into the motor if the pump wasn’t elevated above breast level, it hurt like nothing I can even describe and I got an ounce out per side on a good day. When I had my second baby I was broke as a joke so I learned to hand express to avoid the pump of doom but even expressing into a mixing bowl won’t stop you hosing down every surface in a five meter radius; and then when I had Elen I caved, bought a Medela Swing which I’m using while I write this, and fell in love. I’ve pumped every day, several times a day, for a year and a half and whilst I can’t say I love it, it’s painless and effective. Worth every penny. I wish I’d paid more and got the double.

Thinking of breastfeeding aides, there are others, such as those special pillows that hold the baby, support your back and have a drink holder; and Milkies milk-savers. I never went with a pillow, I rested my baby on the big pooch of not-yet-retracted belly, but I hear good things. If I were to have a fourth, I’d buy the damn pillow! Milk savers are great for those first few weeks where you’ll be feeding the baby on one side and the other nipple gets jealous and starts dripping (or spraying) it’s load all over the place. They tuck into your bra or tank top, and save all that goodness that would otherwise go to waste. A good nipple cream is invaluable too. I loved Moogoo’s Mudder Udder balm because unlike some other creams you don’t have to wash it off before feeding the baby again, even if it’s less than five minutes later. And it’s not lanolin, because ew.

Lastly, putting together a breastfeeding caddies in the places you will feed most is invaluable. The amount of times I’ve sat there feeding or pumping for what feels like hours, my mouth dry and my stomach empty, inventing new creative insults for Dear Hart who hasn’t received my telepathic summons for food and water… save yourself and your marriage and prepare as best you can.

Healthy snacks like nuts, seed crackers, boobie bickies, dried fruit, chocolate (okay maybe not that last one) – anything long life that you can eat with one hand – and a big bottle of water. A book or two, (or magazines if you can find some that don’t make you feel like you’re failing at life,) music and headphones, phone charger, TV remote. Entertainment is essential because while you will spend a huge chunk of time looking lovingly at your baby and marveling at your fine achievement, the rest of the time you will be bored out of your mind. Besides, some babies really don’t like you looking at them while they eat. If you’ve got a pukey baby you’ll want some burp cloths in there too.

If you want to do further reading about breastfeeding I enjoyed the collection of stories in Ina May’s guide to breastfeeding, and I encourage you to share your favourite breastfeeding book below in the comments.

Happy boobin’ xx