The problem with birthday invites

All photos by Thomas Vaclavek Photography.

I knew my kids would have better social lives than me. That was inevitable really, seeming I’m a home-body and my best friend is my sister. But I didn’t expect it to start so early on.

With two now in primary school, the invites come thick and fast. Though they tell me where and when, they often lack other crucial information, so I’m hoping us mums can band together and spread the word in favour of better invites.

I have a story, of course, to illustrate what I mean.

Bast went to a party recently and the parents did something different that I ended up loving – they put the party on a Friday night. At first was like “what is this shit?” but the more I thought about it, the more I realised it was genius. We aren’t doing anything Friday evening anyway and it saved us giving up a chunk of our weekend. 

I dropped Bast off, making it fast because I’d left Elen sleeping downstairs in the pub kitchen, but I got a surprise when I came to pick her up.

All the mums were done up, had their faces on, wearing heals like they were the ones going to a dance, not their kids. And there I am, one kid still in uniform, the other with a dirty face and tangles in her hair, me wearing house-cleaning pants and two hoodies, looking like I went through the valley of death rather than a regular school week.

What they didn’t tell us was that siblings were welcome and that most of the parents would be staying for their own gathering.

I didn’t have to deal with the younger two feeling left out, or have to juggle dinner around the party. I could have been having beers and adult conversation. If only I’d known.

These are the things I want to see on kids’ party invites, in addition to the necessities:

• Are we expected to drop kids off, or stay for the duration?
• Are siblings welcome?
• What kind of food there will be, so I know to arrange lunch for after if it’s all fairy bread and potato chips (crisps.)
• What’s the estimated end time?
• What is your kid into? If they don’t want Lego or books you need to give me some direction. Actually, don’t tell me; everyone likes Lego and books.
• Dress code. I’ve been to so many climbing centre parties where little girls are stepping on their pouffy dresses and falling on their faces. Tell parents what to expect.

What would you like to see done better in the kid’s party world? What genius ideas have you seen put into action? 

I’d love to discuss it with you either here in the comments or on Facebook, and I’d really appreciate a share so we can get the word out because parenting is hard enough without sending your kid to a painting party in their new shirt.

Miriam Cumming has been a parent for six years, and a witch for nineteen. Her photography has nothing on Thomas’s but you can stalk her on Instagram anyway, to get your daily uplift.

Okay okay, just one more cute photo, before we go: